I’ve never been a big Wendy Williams fan. I must admit, however, that I have much more respect for her now that she’s left her cheating ex-husband. There are many women (and unfortunately many black women) who allow themselves to be so enthralled in a man, that they will still remain by his side regardless of how he treats them. I once knew a woman who stayed with her husband even upon finding out that he had had a child with another woman. Instead of moving on and refusing to take the disrespect, she chose to stay with the man and help him raise his children (even though he stepped out on her to have those children). Wendy Williams, on the other hand, finally decided enough is enough and I admire that.
Listen, I’m not judging anyone. If you, as an individual, choose to stay with your man even after he’s disrespected you by cheating, then that’s your decision. However, when this decision is repeatedly chosen by collectives of black women, that’s when I know there’s a problem.
1. Never Love Anyone More Than You Love Yourself (This Includes Your Children)
Wendy Williams recently did a radio interview with Andy Cohen, in which she revealed that she was aware of Kevin Hunter’s infidelities throughout their marriage which spanned over two decades. In the interview we learn that although Wendy knew she was dealing with a cheater, her decision to ultimately stay in the marriage was made for the sake of her son who was still in school at the time.
Andy Cohen asked her, “You knew about this double life?”, to which Wendy Williams admitted, “I knew about a lot of things, for years.”
Here we see an example of a black woman placing the needs of her child before hers. If I know anything about parents, it’s that they’re usually horrible liars/actors. Although I can only speculate, I’d be willing to bet that Wendy’s son has known about (or at least suspected) about the infidelity for a long time. The implications of this are huge, because it means that he likely grew up watching his father mistreat and disrespect his mother by stepping out on her with another woman. How is that setting a good example of what love and family should look like? I’m not intending to blame the victim here (the person at fault has always been and will always be Wendy’s ex-husband). However, we need to be willing to call out this pattern of women remaining with their unfaithful or abusive partners for the “sake of the family”.
Moreover, I actually would argue that children do better when raised in a loving home where both of the parents are genuinely happy–not where the parents are hiding behind a façade of happiness.